The McDonald's Incident

Every so often we experience something so ridiculous and immature that it makes us look at how ignorant we can be at times. It could be something as simple as when we were kids fighting over who got to be Leonardo in the Ninja Turtles videogame (though Leonardo wasn’t necessarily my favorite, I didn’t have a favorite, but he was definitely the best in the game) or having a contest to see who could drink the most alcohol (probably the most ridiculous activity our society partakes in… at least one of the most). These things are so trivial yet we can’t seem to pass on taking part in them. The other night, on a routine trip to McDonald’s with my friends, such an event took place.

It was a cool Saturday evening; the New York Rangers game (hockey) was getting close to beginning, and my friend Conway and I were starving. We had called our friend Steve a bunch of times to tell him that we were going to get some food before the game and he finally called back and said that he was on his way. Steve lives down the street from where we were hanging out (we call it Lost Youth Headquarters, though it’s actually my Grandma’s house that becomes our hangout when she goes to Vegas for half the year), so when 30 minutes passed after he said he was on his way, we got pretty irritated. We called Steve back and told him that we were going with or without him, but he assured us he was just getting out of his house, so we went down and picked him up there and made our way to McDonald’s.

On the way to our beloved fast food joint it seemed as if all the worst drivers of the world felt like getting in our way. We finally reached that beautiful golden arch and made our way to the drive through. We were going straight when suddenly a car, which had a stop sign, turns left and cuts us off. Conway honks at the car, which honks back at us. Conway was pissed, but I thought he was going to let it go. A few seconds go by and Conway goes, “fuck this” and honks twice, at which point the car stops and the driver gets out and starts telling Conway to get out of the car. Conway keeps yelling at the guy “what are you gonna do, punch me in front of McDonald’s, fuck you!” The guy’s friend gets out and pulls his buddy back into the car, but Conway is furious at this point and honks at the guy again and flicks him off. The guy gets back out of his car and once again challenges Conway to get out of the car; unfortunately for the guy, Conway had enough and did indeed step out of his car. The guy was pretty built, but he was one of those posers who disgust me with their phony personas and big barks. However, Conway is a big dude, so when the guy sees Conway, you could see his courage shrink to the size of a peanut.

The guy’s friend gets out of the car just as Conway opens his door, and when I see Conway grab the handle I jump out of the car as well (you have to have your friend’s back). To get to Conway I had to get through the guy and his friend, so I grab the guy’s shoulder and he basically falls two steps back, which made me laugh in my head; it proved to me that this guy was all bark and no bite, he never believed Conway was going to leave his car. So I got in between Conway and the guy and told Conway to get back into his car and the guy’s friend did the same to his pal. While all this was going on, a third friend of theirs opened the door and was ready to come out and join the fun while Steve curled up into the fetal position on Conway’s backseat and wet his pants. I was ready for a fight to be quite honest, and I would have definitely mauled these people, but at the same time I realized how stupid the whole situation was and entered peace mode. The guy was back by his car (well, it was actually a Hummer) and Conway was at his and the two continued yelling at each other. The guy asked Conway why he honked and Conway told him how he cut him off and almost hit him; the guy obviously felt like a moron and gave a response of, “oh well” and finally got back into his car.

Conway was still heated and was craving some blood and I tried to calm him down a bit by throwing out a few jokes. The guy made his order, but while he gave his order Conway mocked his voice, which brought laughter throughout our car. We eventually ordered our food and were waiting for the lady to take our money when suddenly the car behind us honks, causing the guy who just had the spat with Conway to turn around and glare at us, until he realized it wasn’t us who honked; it was the person behind us (it actually may have been two cars behind us). We got our food and made our way back to LYHQ, only missing about 12 minutes of the hockey game (though we did miss three goals). We were extremely disappointed with Steve and his lack of support for us. Granted Conway and I could have easily disposed of these people by ourselves, you’re still supposed to back up your friends, and Steve didn’t; he was a coward and a bad friend. The guy’s friend was actually pretty cool and him and I kind of worked together to defuse the situation as we just wanted to eat, but Conway and this guy had very similar personalities; hotheads to the bone. This was an interesting experience at McDonald’s, I believe it was the first time I almost fought there, but I hope to just get my food the next time. Fighting is pretty retarded overall, unless you’re defending a woman, your family/friends, doing it for sport (MMA), or you’re attacked first; but this situation was just a simple case of two macho egos going at each other (though Conway was technically right, he could have just let it go after the kid honked back). Steve won’t live his lack of support down, he’s lost a ton of respect in our crew (he’s a coward), but at least Conway knows I got his back. The lesson learned: next time Steve’s late as hell, we should just leave without him, this way Conway won’t be in a bad mood looking for any excuse to get into a fight. That’s the story, I hope you enjoyed it to some extent; have a great week everybody!

If you have any questions or comments for G.K., email him at GK@LostYouthNation.com, and be sure to check back here next week for another random article from his unpredictable mind.